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Wczorajsze zajecia z dziecmi byly zaskakujace. Najpierw chor spiewajacy ‘Happy Birthday Miss Anya’ (nie mam nic przeciwko swietowaniu urodzin kilka razy w roku) a potem dyskusja na temat dlugosci mojego nosa po tym jak jeden z chlopcow rzucil ‘ Miss Anya, you’ve got a really big nose’. Zrobilam im mala prezentacje: ‘Tak wyglada z lewego profile, tak z prawego, tak z dolu a tak z gory’ Troche sie posmialismy. Moj nos to moja duma! Ktos kiedys powiedzial, ze dlugosc nosa sjest miernikiem inteligencji. Entuzjastyczne popieram ta teorie.

Goraco polecam ‘Wujaszka Wanie’ w rezyserii Laurence Oliviera (1962). Fantastyczna obsada. Joan Plowright jako Sonya jest nieziemska, Rosemary Harris swietnie interpretuje Helene a Sybil Thorndike jest bombowa jako pielegniarka.

' Please, understand that your life is bad and dreary!' Chekhov 

Yesterday's lessons with the kids were surprising. First a choir singing ‘Happy Birthday Miss Anya’ (I have nothing against celebrating Birthday few times a year), later a discussion on the size of my nose following one of the boys' statement  “Miss Anya, you’ve got a really big nose”. I made a small presentation: ‘This is how it looks from the left profile, here from the right, from upwards and when one looks at it from below’. We had a good laugh. My nose is my pride! Someone told me once that the length of a nose is the measure of intelligence. I’m a big fun of this theory.  

‘Uncle Vanya’ directed by Laurence Olivier (1962) strongly recommend. Fantastic cast. Joan Plowright is far-out as Sonya, the interpretation of Helena by Rosemary Harris is great and Sybil Thorndike is unforgettable as Nurse.

‘ The life of Brian’ Pythona jest swietny. Takie spojrrzenie na historie Chrystusa z zewnatrz I wysmianie niescislosci. Fantatyczny film. Kwestionuje wiare czy ja atakuje?  Nie dziwie sie, ze oburzyl wiele osob.

Python’s ‘Life of Brian’ was great. They looked on the story of Christ from outside and made fun of all inaccuracies. Fantastic film. Does it question faith or attacks it? No wonder that it outraged many.

Judith: [on Stan’s desire to be a mother] Here! I’ve got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb – which is nobody’s fault, not even the Roman’s – but that he can have the RIGHT to have babies.

Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother… sister, sorry.

Reg: What’s the POINT?

Francis: What?

Reg: What’s the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can’t have babies?

Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Reg: It’s symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Ucisk I rzeczywistosc. To to samo?

Opression and reality. The same?

Coordinator: Crucifixion?

Stan: Yes

Coordinator: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

Jeszcze jeden. To tylko ukrzyzowanie.

One more. It's just crucifixion.

Reg: Hello, Sibling Brian.

Brian: Thank God you’ve come, Reg.

Reg: Well, I think I should point out first, Brian, in all fairness, we are not, in fact, the rescue committee. However, I have been asked to read the following prepare statement on behalf of the movement: “We the People’s Front of Judea, brackets, officials, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, occasion of your martyrdom…”

Brian: What?

Reg: “Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites. Signed, on behalf of the P.F.J., etc” And I’d just like to add, on a personal note, my own admiration, for what you’re doing for us, Brian, on what must be, after all, for you a very difficult time.

W imie chwaly?

In the name of glory?

Life’s piece of shit

When you look at it.

Life’s laugh and death’s a joke. It’s true.

You’ll see it’s all a show.

Keep’em laughing as you go.

You remember that the last laugh is on you.

And…

Always look on the bright side of life.

   [whistling]

'Luncheon of the Boating Party' Renoir 

Zyje troche poza czasem. Jaki dzisiaj dzien tygodnia? Ktora godzina? Kiedy mam spotkania? Wszystko sie miesza. Pospalam troche I zadzwonilam do Moniki. Fajnie jest miec kogos z kim mozna wyjsc kiedy sie tego potrzebuje. Idziemy na kolacje..

 Lubie ten obraz za swiatlo, swiezosc, cieplo i interakcje pomiedzy ludzmi.

'Rue Transnonain, April 15, 1834'  Honore Daumier

Rano niespodziewany telefon od Evy z prosba o zastapienie kolegi, ktory sie rozchorowal. No I jak zwykle podroz do Heng Hau busikiem. Przyzwyczailam sie juz, ze kierowca pedzi niemilosiernie w dol z uniwersytetu, pokonujac ostre zakrety. Dobrze, ze przy szybach sa metalowe barierki ktorych mozna sie trzymac, bo w innym wypadku ludzie lataliby w srodku jak ziemniaki. Tak mi sie przynajmniej wydawalo na poczatku, a teraz wszystko zaczyna normalniec.

Monika zaskoczyla mnie niesamowicie. Myslalam, ze wyjechala, a tu prosze. Szykuje sie kilka dobrych obiadkow I wypadow do miasta. Ciesze sie bardzo. To jedyna osoba tutaj z ktora fajnie sie dogaduje.

Przez kilka ostatnich dni slucham w kolko Tracy Chapman. Nie wiem, jakos tak wspolgra z moimi uczuciami.

‘Almost‘ve got what I want

almost found what I lost,

almost saved you in myself,

almost want, but it doesn’t count and never does.’

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Unexpected phone call in the morning from Eva asking to take replace a colleague who suddenly got sick. And few minutes after that I’ve been sitting on a minibus speeding towards Heng Hau. I had had enough time to get used to the driver who is always speeding down the curvy hill from the university. It’s good that there are metal barriers that people can hold, because otherwise everyone would fall out of their seats. Well…maybe I’m exaggerating, but that was my impression when I first was traveling by a minibus in HK.. 

Monika surprised me a lot. I was sure that she left, and here ‘Surprise!’. Oh well, we will have few nice dinners and outings before she leaves two weeks from now. She seems to be the only person here with whom I can find a kind of similar language.

During the last days I've been listening to Tracy Chapman over and over again. I don’t know why, maybe it just matches my feelings.

‘Almost‘ve got what I want

almost found what I lost,

almost saved you in myself,

almost want, but it doesn’t count and never does.’

No tak... ostatnio bylo jakos tak ciezko. I zastanawiam na ile ja sama wyolbrzymiam problemy a na ile one naprawde istnieja. Ale M. ma racje, w pewnym sensie stawiam siebie w centrum swiata.

Sama siebie zaskakuje. Wydawalo mi sie, ze moge sie przystosowac do kazdych warunkow a okazuje sie, ze tak radykalna zmiana kultury po pewnym czasie to dla mnie za duzo.

Ludzie tutaj mowia innym jezykiem, ale nie tylko w sensie doslownym. Sa na ogol bardziej konserwatywni, nie pala, raczej nie pija, ogladaja filmy I czytaja ksiazki, ktore za bardzo mnie nie interesuja... Brakuje miejsca na dyskusje I na wymiany pogladow. Czasem czuje sie wyizolowana, jakby na uboczu. Jestem tez inaczej traktowana. Nie koniecznie jako Ania, ale 'ta z Zachodu'. To wszystko razem buduje bariere pomiedzy mna a reszta.

Kilka spiec w pracy, poczucie osamotnienia I niska motywacja sprawily ze nie czulam ze cokolwiek ma sens.

Ale poradze sobie. Zaczelam czesciej uprawiac sport, grac na fortepianie I wiecej czytac dla przyjemnosci.

'Saturn' Gunter Grass - ponizej. Nie moge znalezc tlumaczenia.

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Oh well... it has been pretty hard during the last time. And I'm wandering to what extend I'm exaggerating the problems, and to what extend they really exist. But M. is right, in a way I place myself in the middle of the world.

I'm surprised. I had thought that I can adjust to all circumstances. And it turns out that such a radical change of culture might be too much to me.

Most of the people who surround me seem to speak in a different language, but not only literally. They are generally more conservative, they don't smoke, usually don't drink, they watch films and read books that don't really interest me...There is no space for good discussions and interesting exchanges of thoughts. Sometimes I feel isolated, like on a side. I also feel that I'm treated differently. Not really as Ania, but as 'the one from the West'. All of that together builds a barrier between me and the rest.

Some bad situations at work, loneliness and low motivation made me wandering if anything has sense.

But I will cope with that. Started doing more sports, playing piano and reading more for pleasure.

Saturn

In this big house –

from the rats

who know about the drains,

to the pigeons

who know nothing –

I live and suppose much.

Came home late,

opened the house

with my key

and noticed as I hunted for my key

that I needed a key

to enter my own home.

Was quite hungry,

ate a chicken

with my hands

and noticed as I ate the chicken

that I was eating a chicken

which was cold and dead.

Then stooped,

took off both shoes

and noticed as I took off my shoes

that we have to stoop

if we want to take,

shoes off.

I lay horizontal,

smoked the cigarette,

and in the darkness was certain

that someone held out his open hand

when I knocked the ashes

from my cigarette.

At night Saturn comes

and holds out his hand.

With my ashes, he

cleans his teeth, Saturn.

We shall climb

into his jaws.

[Gunter Grass]